Gardening for Golfers Book by Peter G. Blair

This great book provides details on how to care for and maintain your yard, even though you would much rather be golfing, if the truth be told. Well, the truth is told in this book, so pick yourself up a copy, and get one for that friend of yours who golf's too.

Gardening for Golfers Tee Shirt

If you really want to stand out in a crowd, get yourself one of our G.F.G. tee shirts. Nobody will know what the hell the "GFG" stands for, which is why you'll stand out. These are made from 100% shirt material, and may not stretch much. They don't come in any colors but white, and all shirts are extra large, just the way you like them.

Garden Spreader

We can't say enough about these spreaders, so we'll let our competition speak for us instead. "Anyone who has one of these must be made of gold." - A Big Box Hardware Store with the Orange Logo. "These are first class all the way." - A Big Box Store that sounds like "Low". "At that price, that's the last spreader anyone will ever buy." - A Big Box Store that rhymes with "borchard". You can't make these quotes up. Get one today!

Lucky Cricket

See the book for details on just how lucky these crickets can be. Buy a couple and literally double your luck. If you are really fortunate, you may get a pair that can mate and make even more lucky crickets.

Lucky Rabbit's Foot

Every kid knows that rabbit's' feet are lucky and there is nothing better than having one around. In spite of the sharp separation from it's original owner, this foot will bring nothing but more luck.

Unlucky Rabbit's Foot

This unlucky foot looks and feels exactly like a lucky one, but it is not. Through a patented process, all the luck has been removed from these feet and transferred into the lucky ones sold above. Give this foot to a person whom you don't wish any good luck at all. Like that guy you play golf with, who no matter what, ends up taking your bet money some how. Give him a set, he'll appreciate it.

Air Bed

These beds are just like the ones that you may find at upscale retail stores, but ours are designed to hold better air. These units can be filled with air that has had green house gasses removed, which guarantees you'll sleep more soundly. Al Gore would buy one of these if he knew about them.

GFG Sweater Vest

Some may say that the sweater vest is making a comeback, to which I say that it never left, just like Disco music didn't either. Get yourself one of these stylish G.F.G. sweater vests and be styling.

Roundup™ Recipes

This cookbook is chock full of recipes for using ordinary garden Roundup™ to make delicious treats. You might argue that any dish prepared using Roundup is toxic and dangerous, but if you have ever tasted Aunt Edna's meatloaf, you would see there is little difference. Try the Roundup Waffles, they'll make the Belgian's jealous.

Souvenir Hockey Stick

These sticks are awesome for bar brawls with John MacEnroe, or fights with the Condors Hockey Club from Bakersfield. These sticks are great for up close man to man combat, but you can also throw them in a pinch. My wife carries one in her purse.

Water Magnet Cancellers

These devices are not magnets actually, rather, they are used to counteract the effects of water magnets on your golf ball when you are playing near water. You know how when you hit the ball near the lake and it veers into the water? That's the effect of a water magnet. Our product neutralizes the effect of the water magnet and causes your ball to go perfectly straight.

Free Lobsters from Boiling (FLFB) Tee Shirt

Get one of these shirts and show your support for taking live lobsters from restaurants and releasing them in the high-chaparral. It may seem cruel, but it is better than a quick death in a boiling pot of water. You can't put them back into the ocean, they'll just get caught again.

FlapJack Pete's Tee Shirt

Flapjack Pete's is the preferred breakfast restaurant found up and down the California coast. They serve the very best waffles, pancakes, scrambled eggs, and so on. (They do not serve the Roundup waffles mentioned above) Show your support and get yourself one of these fancy tee shirts.

Belt Level

The phone calls we have received on this product have been countless. Everyone is clamoring to get a hold of the garment accessory, that once and for all, answers the question, "Do I look fat in this?" Now with this belt, the person can answer the question themselves just by reading the easy to use bubble level on the belt. We have these in black, brown, and white if you like. Are you on the level?

Fetzer Valve

These valves fit most cars, including the Toyota Prius, and offer improved ride and comfort. At $1,000 each, they are a steal. We're not exactly sure what they do, but the manufacturer guarantees that they'll do what they are supposed to for at least 90 days. Fletch installed one in a jet in his first movie and that seemed to work out well.

Additional Horse Shoes

Gardening for Golfers comes with a free lucky horse shoe on page 133, but many people have asked for additional copies. Sure, you could buy a new copy of GFG for $19.95, but for $50 you can get the real horse shoe in this deal. We might even throw in a book just for fun. See how lucky you are? In most cases, the horse is not included with this purchase.

Modified Rule Book

If you need a copy of the USGA rule book, we can sell you one. Ours are better, because we have taken the liberty to cut selected rules off certain pages, so that you can focus more on your game and less on the rules. The other benefit of the slimmed down pages is that the book is lighter to carry, which might encourage you to take it out on the course with you more often.

Lucky Matchbook with $100 Bill

The lucky matchbook is mentioned in the book and now you can get your very own version. This one even comes with the lucky $100 bill, so your good fortune starts immediately. Be careful how you keep these in your pants pocket, because you can cause a fire if you walk too swiftly and your legs rub together.

Frank the Creepy Night Nurse Tee Shirt

We don't like Frank anymore than you do, but he put this cool tee shirt together and promised to give all the proceeds to the kid down the street who was trying to get that giant mole removed.

CALTRANS-like Orange Vest

Get a safety vest almost like the ones the people from CALTRANS wear when they are holding up traffic to close a lane during rush hour. You can use these to look official when "borrowing" plants from your neighbors.

Buy any Golf items on Amazon.com

Go ahead and buy something from Amazon.com, we dare you. For every dollar you spend there through this link, Amazon gets one more dollar than me. I need to setup my own web site to sell things I guess.